Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize