Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
