Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Randomize