I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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