I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
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