That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
We're using joints as your birthday candles
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
