I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
