your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
