i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Randomize
