Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize
