Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Randomize
