He told me they were just razor bumps!
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
