I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
