do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
