none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
