me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
He shit in the fireplace
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
