We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
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