i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
My vagina is officially offended.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
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