idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Randomize