I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
