We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
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