You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Less talking, more tequila
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I need a hoe opinion
go on
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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