You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
