if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
