My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
