STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
