My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
