It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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