Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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