i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
