we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
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