that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
tell your sister to shave her snatch
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Randomize
