is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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