So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Randomize
