I murdered the dance floor call the cops
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
