I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
zippers are such a cool invention
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
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