Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
