Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
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