I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize
