so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize