you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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