$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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