Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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