I can't watch pbs sober anymore
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
