just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
