Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Less talking, more tequila
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
