Are we in a gay sports bar?
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
be right there i have to get my cape
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize
