I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I can't turn off my feet"
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Randomize
