I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
