will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
