Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
i think my cat just said my name.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
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