i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
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