The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize
