so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Its about making memories worth repressing
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
