on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
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