And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Randomize