They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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