what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
