I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
now i know why i became what i already was.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I want to fling myself into the sun
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
