I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Randomize
