I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
