just tell him i said nine months
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
