i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
farters have to be the big spoon...
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I came so hard my ears popped.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
