woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
