i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
porn star boner night. come get it.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
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