forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Randomize
