i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
