Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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